From Commitment to Closure: Navigating Transitions with Students

At our recent English B'Yachad Tutor Talks, volunteers came together to explore an important question: When and how should a tutoring relationship come to a close?

Why endings can feel complicated...

Ending a tutoring partnership is not always straightforward.

Sometimes the transition happens naturally, when life events—like a new baby, a job change, or military service pull students in different directions.

In other cases, students request a “pause” that quietly becomes permanent, leaving tutors without the chance for a formal goodbye. These situations, while common, can leave tutors and/or students with a sense of unfinished business in what was a meaningful connection.

Tutors also noted that students often place great value on their relationships with mentors. Out of respect—or out of concern about creating disappointment, tutors or students may hesitate to start a conversation about ending sessions. And both are right to sense that people can feel disappointed when a valued relationship changes. Yet, endings are a natural and expected part of the tutor–student journey.

Are there guidelines for stopping?

English B'Yachad program guidelines establish the initial expectation that tutors and students commit to at least 10 working sessions together. This timeframe provides an opportunity to develop a connection. It enables tutor-student pairs to meet the program's expectations, allowing them time to work together and assess whether to continue beyond the program's minimum commitment.

In practice, many English B'Yachad tutor–student pairs far exceed this benchmark. Some work together for years, with others even becoming lifelong friends. Some pairs find that 10 sessions are enough to accomplish what is most needed. Each relationship unfolds differently—shaped by student needs, motivation, and life circumstances.

Changing needs, shifting priorities.

Tutors shared examples of how a student’s engagement can shift unexpectedly.

• One tutor’s student ended sessions abruptly but later called with excitement to share news of a promotion—a reminder that the student values the tutor connection even without ongoing meetings.

• Another tutor described how her student, who is now a mother, had to step away from tutoring without explanation. Months later, she reconnected, sharing that the silence had been due to the challenges of adjusting to her new role, not a lack of appreciation for their time together.

  
  

These stories highlight how much happens in our students’ lives that tutors may never see. That’s why many volunteers emphasized the value of asking students directly about their interest in continuing, rather than relying on assumptions.

Signs it may be time to conclude

Some indicators that it might be time to close a tutoring relationship include:

• Frequent missed sessions

• Difficulty identifying clear student goals

• Life transitions—family, professional, or military—that limit availability

  
  

How to close with care

Endings don’t need to feel abrupt. Tutors and students might choose to:

• Shift from weekly meetings to less frequent check-ins

• Transition the student to another tutor

• Maintain a friendly connection outside of tutoring, when appropriat

  
  

While there’s no single “right” way to conclude, the best practice is to have a concluding conversation. This allows both tutor and student to express appreciation, say goodbye, and, if they wish, agree to keep in touch.

What matters most

• Keep communication open

• Ensure students feel supported, not abandoned

• Honor both student and tutor needs

In the end, the most important thing is to let relationships end—or continue—naturally, with respect, care, and openness.